A Mindful Reflection on Work/Life Balance
This week is half term for most schools in the UK, and as I have young granddaughters, I always make an effort to spend some quality time with them.
My week began with an evening book launch that required a bit of organising, and it went exceptionally well, thankfully. However, the following day left me quite exhausted, so I took some time to rest and recharge.
Midweek, I found myself immersed in a series of meetings centred around the development of workshops tailored for working with young people. Alongside this, I'm actively engaged in the creation of a supportive community aimed at helping individuals navigate through traumatic life events like cancer, loss, and bereavement. In the midst of all this, I'm also busily preparing for the launch of my local Mindfulness based living group starting next week.
Balancing work with my personal life, including starting to write my second book and currently studying Trauma Informed Practice, is not always easy. Nevertheless, I always set aside at least one day dedicated solely to spending time with my granddaughters.
To me, work-life balance means that when I'm with my granddaughters, I make a conscious effort not to answer work-related calls or emails. I only make an exception for potential emergencies from my children. Otherwise, my focus is solely on my time with the girls.
This week, I took them to the Schools Museum in Hitchin, which had a Halloween theme. We even tried our hand at pumpkin carving, a messy but fun experience. It was a valuable lesson for me, as I learned to let them take the lead, realising that, at eight years old, they want to do things independently, as they kept reminding me!
After successfully completing the pumpkin carving, we began our tour of the school, diving into the experiences of young boys and girls during the Victorian era.
It was eye-opening to learn that, despite being at school, girls were only taught domestic skills like childcare, cooking, sewing, and cleaning, while the boys, all 300 of them packed into one room, received an education in subjects like English, Maths, and Science upstairs.
One intriguing fact that surprised me was the use of sand as a writing medium. Back in those days, when schools relied on private donations, they couldn't afford the luxury of paper and pens for writing.
The stories of corporal punishment left a lasting impression. It served as a stark reminder that even during my school days, the cane was an accepted part of the educational landscape, though it was an experience I personally managed to avoid by adhering to the 'good girl' expactations.
Before concluding our tour, we had the unique opportunity to explore the haunted headmaster's house, which surprisingly lacked a bathroom but was still considered a luxurious home in its time. As you can see in the photo, the headmaster was a tad preoccupied!
The day concluded with a treat – indulging in generous servings of French toast covered in chocolate.
When transitioning from your work life to your personal life, especially with young children, being truly present is essential. They do notice when you are engaged with them or distracted by work, and they certainly know when you're genuinely having fun.
For me, being a grandmother is an incredible privilege. It's like having a second chance at parenting, but this time around, I've learned important lessons, and I have the luxury of time to be present when I am with them instead of worrying about the more laborious tasks of parenting.
Mindfulness and Work/Life Balance.
Mindfulness can play a significant role in helping us live a more balanced life.
Cultivating an awareness of our thoughts, particularly during our busy daily routines rather than solely during moments on a meditation cushion, can transform how we go about a day. Remembering that we are often acting out of our addictive behaviours, especially when it comes to our use of technology.
My visit to the Victorian school served as a reminder of the absence of constant technological distractions. When the school day ended, it truly concluded, without spilling over into the evening or the weekend. I'm not suggesting we revert to those times, but there's a valuable lesson to learn from them - how to disconnect from work completely when it's time to embrace our personal lives.
I remember my time as a teacher, where I experienced my working day in three distinct segments. The early morning phase began around 7.30 am when I'd arrive at school to prepare for the day, address emails, and often attend meetings. Then, at 8.30 am, the teaching day would kick off, a whirlwind of activity that left little room to catch a breath. By 4 pm, the remainder of the day unfolded with additional meetings, more preparation, and the never-ending tasks of marking, report writing, and a plethora of other responsibilities.
I was always bothered by the prevalent misconception that teachers had endless holidays. The truth is, for most of us, Sundays were devoted to planning and grading, and a significant portion of our holidays revolved around work. Let's not forget that the early days of our school breaks were primarily about recovering from the often taxing experiences of daily school life!
It requires a certain skill to seamlessly switch between a stressful workday and your personal life, where, hopefully, you can find some time to relax and take care of yourself.
So, how can you ensure that the boundaries between your work and personal life remain intact?
The most essential step you can take is to develop an awareness of those instances when you instinctively reach for your phone to check messages or emails. It's during these moments that work-related concerns begin to infiltrate your mind and divert your attention from enjoying your personal life.
This brings to mind a conversation I had with one of my line managers several years ago, shortly before her resignation from her position. I was taken aback by her decision to leave, given her apparent dedication to the school. When I inquired about her reasons for departing, she gazed at me and simply stated, 'None of us are irreplaceable, Anna.' It's a reminder I always keep in mind whenever work threatens to overshadow the precious moments in my life, such as my quality time with my children and grandchildren.
Nevertheless, it's also in those very moments when you have the power to say, 'No, this is my invaluable time with my loved ones, and nothing holds more importance than that.'
If you want help to learn how to develop your ability to let go of your working day so that you can really be present in your personal life, then start by reading my book, How did I get here?: A guide to letting go of your past and living in alignment with your true self.
Or download free resources to start your journey to a happier, healthier and self-compassionate life – annazannides.com