How to Be Happy with What You Have and Not What You Want

In a world that constantly urges us to reach for more, it’s no wonder that happiness often feels like an elusive goal.

The mantra is clear: strive harder, achieve more, and then you'll be content.

Yet, how often does this pursuit leave us feeling fulfilled?

For many, the answer is seldom.

The truth is, genuine happiness is not found in getting what we want but in embracing what we already have.

November, with its crisp days and early evenings, is the perfect time to refocus and reconnect with what truly makes us happy. As we move towards the end of the year, it’s a chance to rethink our habits and priorities.

For the next seven weeks, I’m personally focusing on improving my health, watching less TV, and spending more time outside—refusing to let the winter days make me feel sluggish.

A Seven-Step Process for Breaking Free from Conditioned Thoughts About Happiness

In How Did I Get Here?, I outlined a seven-step process that helps break free from the conditioned beliefs surrounding happiness. These steps guide us back to our true selves, allowing us to find joy in what we already have.

Let’s explore them here:

Freedom: Understand what freedom really means—not just the freedom to do what you want, but freedom from the social pressures that say happiness comes from having more. It’s about letting go of what we think we should do and focusing on what truly matters to us.

Intuition: Tune into your inner voice. Intuition is an often-overlooked guide that shows us what we really want, not what we’re told to want. This November, pay attention to that quiet voice—it might suggest a peaceful walk instead of an evening of scrolling through your phone or cooking a meal at home rather than ordering in.

Awareness: Awareness helps you stay in touch with your true self. It’s about taking a moment to notice what brings you peace and happiness. By practising mindfulness, you can strengthen your awareness and make choices that reflect who you are, not who you think you need to be to feel happy.

Flow: One of the most satisfying ways to connect with your true passion and purpose is by getting into a state of flow. This happens when you’re so involved in an activity that time seems to fly by. Whether it’s writing, painting, or simply walking in nature, being in flow brings you into the present moment.

Acceptance: Acceptance is being okay with whatever is happening, even when things don’t go as planned. This step is crucial for happiness because it shifts your focus from fighting reality to being open to it. During November, try practising acceptance by embracing the season and finding joy in its simple, quiet moments.

Ageing: Ageing is a privilege, but we’re often told to fear it. Embracing getting older with gratitude shifts our focus from what we lose to what we gain—like wisdom, resilience, and new chances to grow.

Spirituality: Finally, spirituality represents the highest level of personal growth. It’s not necessarily about religion but about the deeper connection we build with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Taking time to reflect, meditate, or simply be in nature can help you feel more fulfilled.

Putting These Steps Into Practice This November

This season, instead of giving in to the long nights and cold weather, use these seven steps as a guide to realign with what truly makes you happy. I’m doing just that by focusing on my health—eating better, watching less TV, and picking up healthy habits that keep my body and mind energised. I’m getting outside more, even if it means bundling up for a chilly afternoon walk. It’s about choosing to be active and present instead of drifting through the days.

Gratitude and Embracing the Ordinary

Adding gratitude to your daily life can make these steps even more powerful. Keeping a simple gratitude journal helps you see that what you already have is enough. Each day, write down three things you’re thankful for. Maybe it’s the warmth of your home while the wind howls outside or the comfort of a routine that keeps you grounded. Over time, these small reminders help you shift from wanting more to appreciating what you already have.

Conclusion: Reclaiming Contentment

Happiness isn’t a prize to win but a way of seeing your life.

By following this seven-step process, you can move away from old ideas and reconnect with your true self. You’ll find that happiness isn’t in what you don’t have but in the little moments that make up your everyday life.

So, as November unfolds and the year begins to come to an end, take some time to refocus.

Step off autopilot, listen to your intuition, and be present for the joys around you.

Right here, right now, you have enough.

If this resonates with you or if you need help, start by downloading chapter one of my book, How Did I Get Here?, for free or buy the book from Amazon here.