Why Do We Chase Happiness? The Secret to Finding True Freedom
Let’s start with the premise that everyone just wants to be happy, and I will share a story about this desire for happiness. The story is about a woman named Anna—yes, you guessed it, that’s me! But it could be anyone, including you.
From ages 14 to 19, Anna dreamed of being a high-flying, wealthy barrister. Besides the money she believed would make her happy, she loved the idea of defending innocent people in court and the power that came with such responsibility in society.
If her dreams were fulfilled, Anna thought she would surely be truly happy.
Then life took a turn when her parents divorced, and things got complicated.
Instead of going to university, Anna got married. With marriage came the responsibilities of children, bills, compromise, and the realities of life. As she matured, she felt a desperate need for freedom and peace—not the kind you find sitting on a beach, but the deep inner peace that comes from a quiet mind, free from conflict.
After a few successful years in her career, with her children young adults and no longer married, Anna set out in search of that elusive peace and freedom.
On her journey, she began to let go of things, people, and places.
The more she let go, the lighter her load became; the freer she felt, and peace seemed to follow that newfound freedom.
But one day, as Anna sat in the quiet of her own space, it hit her:
We are doing things wrong.
If peace and freedom come from having less, wanting less, and being less, then why do we spend our lives chasing after more?
At 62, Anna did a little bit of maths.
Buying a piece of land in 1980 cost £10,000, and building a cabin (big enough for five, maybe!) was £30,000.
With less than £50,000, Anna thought, she could have been free at 30!
The moral of this story is quite simple, really.
Call me crazy if you want, but it’s no accident that we get on this hamster wheel we call life, spending our time trying to get off with a desperation that often makes us sick.
At this point, I need to laugh because if I don’t, I’ll cry!
A guy I follow on Instagram, who now lives off-grid, asked,
“Why do you think they don’t want farmers anymore?” I had no idea.
He replied,
“Because if we own our land, homes, and produce our own food and drink, we cannot be controlled.”
Is that the answer for a happier life?
Well it seems happiness depends on the degree of freedom we have.
I wrote about this in detail in my book, How Did I Get Here?
And while we may think we live in a so-called free society (note that the current population of prisoners in the UK is around 96,000 people), freedom is relative.
Let’s examine what freedom actually means.
Freedom is the state of being free from constraints or oppression, allowing individuals to make choices and express themselves without undue interference.
When we look at this definition, how many of us can truly say we are free?
In my book, I mention how people living in Nepal think Westerners are mad for searching for freedom in a country riddled with poverty and corruption, where women and children have little freedom.
And yet, every day thousands of soul searchers turn up in countries like Nepal in the hope of finding freedom and peace from the craziness of their lives back home. Whilst, in Nepal thousands dream of leaving the poverty of their lives and building a rich life in the UK or US or somewhere similar.
So, freedom is relative, as is happiness!
Another point I make in my book is that consumerism emerged when wealthy manufacturers realised the best way to sell their products was to offer them to us—the workers (and if you think you’re not a worker, maybe take another look at your life).
Now, here’s a bit of controversy for you.
When I was in college, I studied politics and explored both right-wing and left-wing ideologies. Back then, it was fashionable to lean ultra-left, and I found Marxism fascinating (shhh, don’t report me!).
What struck me most was this sentence from Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto:
“As long as the people have bread, they will work; but take away their bread, and they will revolt.”
So, we’re given our crumbs—just enough to keep us from revolting—and we continue to be consumers because we think this is what makes us happy.
But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be that way?
What if I told you that true happiness isn’t about getting more, being more, or doing more?
I’m not sure you’d want to hear it, but if I had known this when I was 20, I would have bought that land, built that cabin, and spent my days living, loving, and laughing.
What would you have done differently?
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