Meditation: Common Misconceptions & How to Really Meditate
Meditations is:
“A kind of digging the present, it’s a kind of grooving with the eternal now, and brings us into a state of peace where we can understand that the point of life — the place where it’s at — is simply here and now.” - Alan Watts
It seems that nowadays everyone has a view about meditation. Many are either ‘expert’ meditators or like one of my young students said the other day, “If I want to sleep I’ll just stay in bed!!”
And to be honest, I don’t blame her for believing that meditation was about sleep, considering nearly everywhere you turn today, you’ll either hear someone talking about how they had some sort of out-of-body experience or how they actually stopped thinking while they meditated.
And for the life of me, for a long time, I really couldn’t understand why we would take such a profound and transformative practice such as mindfulness and meditation, or even yoga for that matter, and turn it into something that it just isn’t.
It was whilst on a flight back from Dublin when I was sat next to a group of ladies, probably in their forties, all dressed up, nails varnished immaculately, and makeup covering any sort of natural imperfection, that I heard one of the most common misconceptions.
“I meditate every night, I get into bed and I put on my headphones and listen to the music and then I sleep like I’ve never slept before,” one of them said.
“I do it every day, and it’s transformed my life,” she ended.
“Oh, I really need to start meditation,” replied her friend.
And this conversation went on and on for the duration of the 50-minute flight.
When we landed, my ego took over and I had to say something:
“It’s really great that you meditate,” I said as she looked at me a little perplexed!
“But,” I went on, “you don’t DO meditation.”
Now, she looked at me as if I was only slightly crazy and asked, “What do you mean?”
To which I replied, “Just don’t do!” and I started to make my way off the airplane.
Now, you might be asking, what the heck is Anna talking about? But quite frankly, if you need to ask, then you too need to keep reading!
You see, meditation isn’t a doing at all - it is just being.
Meditation and Mindfulness, which incidentally are not the same, are not new hobbies that you slot into your day like going to the gym or doing yoga, they are a way of life.
Of course, as a Buddhist, I think that to separate meditation from the spiritual practice is already diluting its power. You see, in Buddhism, we don’t meditate to reach any kind a peaceful state; ultimately, a Buddhist meditates to understand the truth, which is never going to be an easy journey.
What happens if you meditate and practise seriously?
Well, if you allow yourself to explore the deepest depths of your mind, you must also be willing to lose your mind, and that, my friend, is why we do not really want to meditate.
It is much easier to buy into the illusion that all we have to do is close our eyes, breathe and peace will find us. It makes meditation a much more attractive selling point, doesn’t it?
I remember when I first started meditating, often all I did was end up crying. Yes, I was going through a tough time and sitting with it wasn’t necessarily a wise choice, but I did it anyway.
And then a few years later, even after spending 100’s of hours in a Buddhist temple outside Kathmandu and being taught by experienced teachers, I’d still sit to meditate and find myself reaching a point where I had to get up and almost run.
There was fear there and I wasn’t willing to enter.
And so I spoke to my Lama about this and she advised me to try to stay with it, to recognise the fear and stay instead of run. That was my next challenge, which I eventually overcame.
But the biggest and probably the most important lesson I’ve learned about not ‘doing’ meditation is that serious practitioners don’t stop meditating when they get off the cushion.
You meditate all day, to keep bringing yourself back, you keep checking the thoughts that never stop, ever!!
To truly meditate is to develop an awareness that is constant, and when you notice that it’s gone, there’s the paradox – you see, now you notice where before you were lost all the time.
You are now the constant observer.
So, when I have these conversations with people that have these misconceptions about meditation, often I am told that it’s okay for people to just do what they think is meditation, if it is of benefit, of course, knock yourself out.
But here’s why I do get a little riled up about modern societies' interpretation of these ancient practices – it’s because there’s a laziness and a non-commitment to really doing the work. And then we wonder why there is a pandemic of stress and mental health problems.
We want the quick fixes, the life on the surface, and to continue to keep doing, keep accumulating, and even worse, to keep on being distracted because the alternative would be to see the truth. And that, as I said before, would first require us to lose our mind.
But on the other side of losing our mind is this real sense of peace, a silence that is almost always present, and a letting go of all desires, so you are finally free from it all.
Now, if you knew that you could finally be free from all those things that keep you constantly on edge, fighting against the waves of life, then you may be willing to explore authentic meditation.
However, the road to inner stability requires a willingness to let go of so much that it takes a brave heart to commit to that road. But I think the prize is well worth it.
Before I go, here are three easy-to-implement meditation techniques to start with:
Dedicate at least 10 minutes of your day to just sitting in silence and over time build up to longer (and longer!!).
Develop a practise where you only do one thing for a while, like eating and just eating.
Check in with yourself several times a day. Stop and ask yourself, ‘How am I right now?’ And if you need to readjust, do so!
If any of this resonates with you, then make sure you join my free community of over 1,000 people already benefiting from my weekly insights sent directly to their inbox.
And of course, I highly recommend reading my book, ‘How Did I Get Here?’