How to Surrender to What Is

I’m not very good at being sick, I find it a real inconvenience and I’ll do almost anything to pretend it’s not so.

Recently, I felt the creeping symptoms of a cold—a scratchy throat and a persistent cough that worsened at night. Despite feeling unwell, I persisted with my daily activities. 

The next day, there was no improvement; if anything, it felt a bit worse. However, by the third day, fatigue set in, and it dawned on me that I was battling something that didn't require fighting—it called for surrender instead.

Then my usual internal self-talk kicked in, urging me to practice what I preach.

How could I encourage others to prioritise self-care while ignoring my body's plea for rest?

So, I made a conscious decision—it was time to rest.

This experience brought to mind a fundamental truth that

Despite our meticulous plans and hard work, there's much in life beyond our control.

Life throws curveballs, demanding that we embrace the art of surrender or, as I discuss in my book, 'How Did I Get Here?'—acceptance.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, in 'Man's Search For Meaning,' wisely states:

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

In this statement, Frankl didn't advocate for unrealistic positivity in the face of dire situations like the Holocaust; that would have been impossible anyway.

It's important to understand that it's not about covering up harsh realities with false optimism, something I strongly believe is unhealthy.

This idea of toxic positivity creates a harmful clash between our genuine experiences and the false front we try to convince ourselves of. This internal conflict can lead to a host of problems.

In my book, 'How Did I Get Here? A guide to letting go of your past and living in alignment with your true self,' I share instances where surrendering proved powerful, both in my life and in others.

The process detailed in my book consists of specific steps, offering guidance on

How to Surrender to What Is.

1 - Awareness.

Initiating change begins with being aware of our thoughts about a situation, not just the event itself. In my book I detail something I call ‘The Awareness Model’ which ultimately leads to peace and freedom.

Mindfulness plays a crucial role here—it's about paying attention to the present moment. Self-inquiry, be it reflective meditation or jotting down thoughts, serves this purpose. I usually opt for a combination of both methods.

In this instance, my contemplation led to a simple realisation:

I genuinely feel unwell, and it's making me unhappy.

And now with this awareness, I am ready to move onto the next step.

2 - Acceptance.

Acknowledging this reality, I had to make a choice:

Continue this futile battle or surrender.

So I chose to surrender—I might be stubborn, but I'm not foolish!

In this state of acceptance, I began to reframe the story.

I became grateful for my body's resilience and its capacity to heal given the right care and time.

I shift from fighting the current situation to becoming acutely aware of the opportunity to be in the comfort of my home.

And then I turn towards all the suffering in the world at this moment.

This perspective reframes my experience, it is now a minor discomfort, that will pass.

Now I am truly thankful for all the goodness in my life.

The key here is to notice that at no point do I deny the current situation or try to put a positive spin on it.

It is just a surrender to what is - put into context!

3 - Flow.

Now relaxed and fully surrendered, my creativity has room to blossom, allowing me to embrace the present moment and go with the flow.

Because when surrender happens, you open the gateway to possibilities.

Thinking is more subtle and time of little significance.

How lucky am I to have this opportunity to flow in creativity is now my narrative.

More about this in my book.

Before I go, I’d like to leave you with these thoughts:

Life isn't always smooth or easy and there will be unexpected challenges on the way. This is certain.

However how we respond remains our sole choice.

True freedom lies in learning to flow with life's currents rather than resisting them.

We must learn to surf the tides, otherwise we will drown.

If this topic interests you and you wish to delve deeper, I recommend beginning by reading my book and downloading the complementary workbook that accompanies it.

Moreover, I intend to guide a select group of individuals through this process personally in my upcoming online course. More details will be shared soon.

To ensure you receive timely updates about its release, I encourage you to join the waitlist.