Why Change is An Inside Job

I've always believed that true happiness comes from living a life that aligns with our inner world.

Our uniqueness isn’t just about our physical appearance—although our bodies may differ in shapes and sizes — what truly defines us as individuals is our internal world.

None of us have the same thoughts as others - our thoughts are unique to us.

If you have siblings, I'm certain you've asked yourself why, despite growing up in the same household and experiencing the same life events, you're so distinct from each other.

And if you're a parent, undoubtedly, you've questioned how your children have evolved so differently, despite being raised under similar conditions.

And even if none of that resonates with you, consider the fact that individuals experiencing the same event may interpret it in completely different ways.

Science highlights that our interpretations and perceptions are significantly influenced by our past experiences. Moreover, the way we process incoming information isn't solely reliant on our past encounters but also on our individual makeup, our personal construction.

And that’s why true happiness and wellbeing is really an inside job.

The fact is that how we experience life is a direct outcome of how we think, feel and react to our internal world.

Now, you might be thinking, "Oh, here we go again, another one of those new age, self-improvement approaches to life."

But let me clarify because if you know me, you know I don’t buy into all that. What I’m discussing here is not only grounded in science but also a matter of common sense.

How is it possible to alter our external world when our thinking and actions remain the same? It's simply not feasible, is it?

Whether it’s our general approach to life or how we, as humans, engage with the broader world around us, unless we commit to addressing the work within our internal world, there can never be any real change.

What’s more, when our external reality is drastically at odds with our internal self, conflict is inevitable.

I’ve written about this many times before - our happiness, wellbeing and health are dependent on our internal and external world being in harmony. And if nothing else, gaining an acceptance of the things that we can not change and those that we have no control over.

We're mistaken to believe that we must focus on fixing our material world, that’s a small part of what is important because if that were true, given the progress we’ve supposedly made, shouldn’t we all be dancing with joy by now?

Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly life events that can undeniably have a negative impact on us. However, it's our approach to facing these challenges that ultimately determines their overall impact on our lives.

So what can we do now to change how we experience our life?

Here are three steps you can start with today to begin reshaping your thoughts and consequently changing your life:

1. Dedicate a few moments each day to listening to your thoughts. Remember, over 90% of our thoughts are repetitive; we tend to cycle through the same thoughts. Once you understand your thought patterns, you gain the power to alter them.

2. Challenge your thoughts—listen and then inquire: Is this genuinely true, or is it merely a pattern I've grown accustomed to?

3. If you're willing to take it a step further, when you recognise a familiar thinking pattern, consciously decide to:

   a) release it without giving it excessive weight, and

   b) attempt a different approach.

   For instance, imagine a thought about being stuck in traffic:

   "Typical, it's just my luck; I'm going to be late now!"

4. Once you notice this thought, smile a bit because, well, you've acknowledged it—that's progress!

   Then, replace that thought with something like, "I can't change it, so why not turn up my music and relish the chance to listen to my favourite track?"

   This is a straightforward example that you can use at any time to help break free from repetitive patterns that don't align with your true self and, more importantly, the person you aspire to become.

And by consciously focusing on your internal world, your external world will fall into place.

Your decisions and actions will reflect your new thinking.

It can’t fail because

Where focus does, energy glows!

I know it's tough to put these ideas into action in your life, which is why I decided to write my book, 'How Did I Get Here? A Guide to Letting Go of Your Past and Living in Alignment with Your True Self.'

In the book, I walk you through uncovering how you've evolved internally. Plus, I've included reflections and practical guidance all the way through to help you make the changes you want in your life.

And if you’d like to take it a step further, then I’ll soon be releasing details of my new programme, ‘Be Yourself’ which I know will help you move closer to the life you dream of.

However to truly transform your life, then consider working with me on a more personal level.

Whatever you do, remember that change is an inner job and it starts by you taking action.