How to take care of yourself

And why it’s important. 

It’s been a challenging couple of weeks, which is always the case when returning to school after a long break. Although I only teach a couple of days a week now and have reduced responsibilities, the transition back to routine is still difficult. It’s a shock to the system to go from the slower-paced life of being off work to the non-stop rushing around of the new term. Unlike most other jobs returning to teaching in September is made even more stressful by all the new tasks we are asked to do. It seems every year there’s a new policy or idea that will make a difference when in reality the only thing that would improve education is to let teachers teach. Hey but don’t let me rain on the parade of all those highfliers that are so sure they have the answers. I’ll gracefully take my place in the corner and keep my opinions to myself; I mean what would I know after two decades in the profession?

So, it shouldn’t have been so surprising to find myself feeling extremely tired only two weeks into the new term. On Wednesday after a full day of teaching, duties, and other fun things I started to get a headache. I tried to ignore it but the heat in the classroom was just making it worse. I managed to make it home and thought with a bit to eat and a drink it would pass. I even resorted to taking paracetamol which I rarely do. Then the pile of work sitting on my desk caught my eye and I sat to try to get something done. But the headache turned into a migraine and feeling sick. And even though my body was clearly sending me a signal, my mind wasn’t playing the game, I should just continue as normal. When I was physically sick I knew I had to give up the fight and went to bed. Even then I still felt guilty, I mean it was only 7.30 pm, only losers go to bed that early.

Eventually, I fell asleep and woke up in the morning with a bit of a sore head but mostly recovered.

I sat with this experience through the next couple of days, taking extra time to listen to the disparity between my body and mind. Then I made a promise to myself to practice what I preach. Here are three changes in attitude that can help us take better care of ourselves:

Sleep when you need to sleep not when you think you should sleep:

This is quite big for me because after my divorce I was determined to show the world that life after divorce is exciting and wonderful. So, I’d never stay home over the weekend because I had to be out “living it large”. Back in the days when I was learning to be single again, I really thought I had something to prove, thankfully I’m over that now.

Our natural sleep pattern should be dictated by our body, after all, it is the body that needs the rest. Our mind doesn’t stop even in sleep and while the body is resting our mind is ticking away as normal. What is different in sleep is that we give our thoughts far less attention than in our waking hours so while the mind isn’t necessarily resting, we are.

We should never underestimate the importance of sleep and how it impacts our general health. In her book “Thrive” Arianna Huffington dedicates several pages to the impact of sleep deprivation, in particular, she writes:

“According to a study by Walter Reed Army Institute sleep deprivation reduces emotional intelligence, self-regard, assertiveness, sense of independence, positive thinking and empathy towards other people”

Rest – Learn to give yourself permission to take time out

How you rest is very much a personal preference. I enjoy reading, listening to music, or just sitting in meditation but mostly silence is my therapy. In our daily lives, we are constantly surrounded by stimuli of one sort or another. This morning I woke up and decided instead of going through my usual routine for the day, I’d be a bit radical. So, I made a cup of tea and went back to bed with a book for a while. I haven’t done this for a while but it did remind me of when I was younger before the world was 24/7 TV, shopping, and telephones! Sundays back then were really a day of rest. So I promised to give myself more days like that.

When I was studying Computer Science at University, I was heartened to read that the future generation would have more leisure time because computers would automate so much of our work. However the opposite is true, we now live in a world that never switches off.

So we must make a conscious decision to turn things off to have some real time out. I highly recommend that you read “Stolen Focus” by Johann Hari, the research he covers in this book is both intriguing and worrying.

Now - Giving up the “When I am good enough” story

Eckhart Tole wrote,

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living”.  

I’ve often asked myself why I keep holding myself back. I certainly have the resources to do what I want but somehow just as I’m about to reach my goal, I find a way to destroy. Perhaps it is because of a pattern of thinking that goes back to my childhood. An accumulation of all the times I was told I’m not girly or petite enough. So, I tell myself I should wait until I’m thin enough and my hair is nice enough or my style is more feminine. You would think after all those years of self-development I’d have gotten over that, but alas it’s an ongoing process.

Thankfully one thing that aging has given me is the realisation that there’s no time left to waste on waiting for perfection. Now is the only time to be doing what you want to do because perfection doesn’t exist. To help I look back at all the things I’ve actually achieved and with gratitude repeat to myself  “I am most definitely good enough”.