How to create a life that gives you more freedom

In his hierarchy of needs model, Maslow ascertains that to have a healthy level of self-esteem we need freedom in our life.

Freedom is so important that the restriction or removal of it is often used as a form of punishment. As children when we do something wrong, we are grounded, at school, we are given a detention and later if we break the law we end up in prison.

Today most of us are fortunate to live in a relatively free world, so you would think that freedom isn’t really a problem. Except for some of us, the struggle for freedom can dominate our life.

Let me elaborate.

Being Free Spirited

When I was young, I’d often sneak out of the back gate of school and head to the park so I could just walk around, and it really didn’t bother me that I was alone. Sometimes I’d get into conversations with random strangers, luckily nothing bad ever happened to me. Later when I was at college I’d take days off because I couldn’t face the boredom of the daily routine.

Now of course there’s nothing special about my behaviour, I think most of us act rather impulsively and even irresponsibly when we are young. But at some point we grow up and snap out of it, well that’s the expectation anyway.

There have been times in my life when I’ve been able to be “responsible” especially when my children were young but that need to escape from the daily routine has always been a driving force in my life. And unlike many, I thrive not in security but in discomfort. Change isn’t a problem for me, quite the opposite I seek new and unfamiliar experiences.

And whilst I’ve lived a varied and interesting life, sometimes my need for change has left me vulnerable, especially financially at times.

So I decided to look into this a bit more, I wanted to find out why some of us find routine such a struggle.

Tanya Richardson, author of Self-Care for Empaths explains that

“free spirits are one of many soul archetypes and in my experience, some people come into this life more naturally free-spirited”

And she adds

“this might look like living unconventionally, with an aversion to being boxed in or tied down”.

Phew, what a relief, it’s not a disorder, and luckily I’m not alone. In fact, most of my friends are free spirits, especially those in my mindfulness and Buddhist circle.

As wonderful as it is to be free-spirited the downside is that often we are disadvantaged because we make choices based on principle rather than rationale. This makes it hard to have a successful career in the corporate world and it often makes us outsiders because we can’t conform. And I purposefully say “can’t” because it feels like there is no choice.

But is there a way to create more freedom in our life without completely throwing all caution to the wind?

Attitude:

The following words from Viktor Frankl are perhaps the most important to remember when trying to stay free in a world that demands that we fit in.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

Sometimes we are called to do things that we don’t want to do but know that our survival depends on it, so maybe it would help to see it that way and nothing more.

I know there have been times in my life that I’ve felt so overwhelmed that my only choice was to walk away. And this is a viable choice then take it. However if that isn’t possible, then remembering that nothing is forever and conditions are always changing can help take away that feeling of being trapped.

Never resign yourself to a life that is lacking in inspiration just so you can fit in.

Remember that just like you there are others out there with the same yearning for freedom so go find your tribe.

When you surround yourself with people that think like you, then you don’t feel so out of place.

Detach a Little

As free spirits, we can be very emotional but if we can learn to see things without attaching too much emotion to them, then we can better cope with short-term necessities.

And more importantly, if we are careful to not take things too personally, especially at work, then we can protect ourselves when we find ourselves in toxic environments.

Keep it simple

What really keeps us trapped is that we overcomplicate life.

Chasing after more money or the next big career move means we have less time for what is really important.

When you are a free spirit career and money is usually low on the priority list, but there’s a danger that this can leave us vulnerable, so we must find a happy medium.

In other words we must find a way to take care of our essential needs and still maintain a level of freedom. And that can be done by keeping things simple.

Reduce noise.

Make conscious decisions not to engage in activities and conversations that disturb you.

Switch off from negativity and make sure you are doing what gives you pleasure and feeds your soul.

Spend less time doing things that reduce your happiness and more time doing the things that make you happy.

And Remember that this is your life, you can live as you like. There’s nobody to prove anything to, except yourself.