Should you make New Year’s Resolutions?
It’s that time of the year when you may be thinking about your goals for the new year. This has always been an important part of my life, like a ritual to get me focused for the year ahead. Having goals helps me stay on track and gives me something to aim for, like steps that lead me to my desired destination. But this year I couldn’t get myself to write my goals down because I’m not so sure that starting my year as I’ve always done is something I want to continue doing.
With 64% of people abandoning their New Year’s resolutions within the first month, it feels a little fatalistic, like maybe I’m setting myself up for failure. And that got me wondering if this tradition plays a part in the rise in suicide attempts in January or the peak in divorce applications or even “Blue Monday”? (More on this topic here). Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?
Or is this future focus destroying our present-moment experience?
What seems to underpin New Year’s resolutions is the idea that there are better days ahead or perhaps more importantly that there’s a better version of us somewhere in the future. And whilst there’s nothing wrong with having dreams especially when times are difficult, we must be careful not to allow them to distort our present life. Or make us feel that our life as it is or who we are at this time isn’t good enough because this can lead to dissatisfaction with the here and now.
So how do we make and keep New Year’s resolutions without losing ourselves in future thinking?
Have a clear vision for your life.
Personally, I believe we should have a clear vision for our lives and know what our true aspirations are. For me having the freedom to be myself without having to compromise on my values is key. This means I focus on work that is aligned with my true values and try to live my life in a way that helps me keep hold of my integrity. So, all my goals are aimed at helping me achieve freedom.
Therefore for goals to be successful they must be moving you towards your life vision and if you don’t know what that is, then start to define that first.
Set intentions in addition to goals.
Goals should be measurable if you want to be able to judge progress, whilst intentions are more hopeful, and I think inspiring. Intentions can help guide us toward the bigger picture that we have for our lives and ourselves. They also seem less daunting than goals, so can feel more achievable. I like to set intentions for my day in addition to writing goals that I can tick off.
Make sure to practice gratitude.
Gratitude is key to happiness; it really makes all the difference in how we experience our daily life. When we live for some ideal future, when everything will be just as we want, we lose the ability to truly love life. So, my intention for 2023 is to learn to appreciate where I am right now. And to be grateful for my health because not everyone has the good fortune of good health. I will be more thankful for the love of my family and friends. And I will remember how lucky I am to be living in a country that is relatively safe and where I am free to be who I want to be.
Whatever is going on in your life right now, there is always something to be grateful for, if you look closely enough.
Appreciate the small triumphs
I for one am guilty of ignoring the small triumphs because I’m an “all or nothing” type of person. But nothing is ever really achieved without the small, daily steps. The problem is that we rarely give ourselves credit for the little things that have contributed to our bigger successes. I remember when I finished my degree feeling so proud of myself and I celebrated achieving something I’d dreamed about for most of my life. But none of that would have been possible had I not gotten up every morning at a ridiculous time so I can get my work done before getting my children ready for school.
Don’t forget that without those small triumphs, the big ones just aren’t possible.
Remember consistency
I don’t know about you, but consistency is something I struggle with a lot! And yet to achieve anything in life you must keep going. Getting fit requires consistently sticking to healthy habits. To write a book means you commit to a writing routine. It is simply impossible to reach a goal without consistently taking action. So you guessed it, this year consistency is high on my list of intentions!
But more important than goals and intentions is to remember that the secret is to enjoy life, not to waste it waiting for better days or for when you are better than you are now. And maybe it’s time to see that you are perfect just as you are because the present moment is the only one that is important, the rest is just a dream.