Is January the worst month for mental health?

January is widely considered the most depressing month of the year, with the 3rd Monday of January often referred to as “Blue Monday”. The first of January is the holiday most associated with the highest number of suicide attempts and January is the peak season for divorce applications.

So, what makes January such a difficult time of the year?

There are many theories around the idea that January can be the most difficult time of the year. Some suggest it’s to do with the weather and long dark periods, others link January to having to return to routine after a long break over the Christmas holidays. However, I doubt we could put it down to one thing, it is most probably a combination of different causes. But there is one thing that does underpin all the possible reasons and that is our perception of happiness. And more importantly our view of how life should be.

So, what can we do to help ourselves when times are difficult?

With every up, there is a down.

January follows one of the most hyped-up periods of the year. Full of expectations and hopes. We put a lot of our energy into preparing to have a good time doing what gives us joy. Then inevitably when that is over, we must readjust to going back to our normal routine. This is why we have January sales because retailers know we are more likely to want to feel good!

To understand how this impacts us it is useful to understand addiction.

Whatever the drug or object of addiction the pattern is the same. The addict uses the object as a way to distract themselves from the pain they feel. This pain can be towards a whole host of things, such as self-hate, disconnection, or loneliness. The main point to consider is that the addict is looking to escape and not feel what they feel. When the addict has their “hit” it stimulates the dopamine in their brain. This is the same neurotransmitter that stimulates our feeling of pleasure and over time the brain begins to associate pleasure with the drug. The problem is that when this is repeated for a long period the addict diminishes their natural capability to gain pleasure without the object of the addiction.

Now as we all know addiction isn’t just about physical drugs or alcohol, we can be addicted to tv, technology, gambling, shopping, sex, a particular person, and even holidays! In other words, if we rely on that thing to make us happy or escape unhappiness then there is a degree of addiction.

So, what does this have to do with January being the worst month for mental health?

Well, if we think back to what I wrote earlier about the hope and joy of December, then we might see how our brain is being stimulated to produce a high level of dopamine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact, it would be fantastic if we could live like that all the time.

But let’s consider the contrast between December with January.

In January we might be returning to a job we hate, stressing about less time for our friends and loved ones, having to face the cold mornings, or looking at our bank statement and realising we might have overspent. In this state, it can be difficult to stimulate the neurotransmitters that make us feel happy. And like an addict we experience the down after the up, so reach out for our next hit or fall into a low mood.

How to help yourself live better when things are difficult.

In Buddhism, we are taught to live the middle way. That means learning to rely less on instant gratification and nonstop stimulation, and to live in gratitude for all we have, rather than all we wish we had.

People often ask me how they can improve their lives so they can be happier and at peace. However, when I suggest that they should spend more time in silence and turn off distractions, I am often met with resistance.

I wonder what it is that people find so difficult about these simple life changes and this brings me back to addiction. We have become so hooked on constantly being entertained and distracted that we find the whole idea of doing nothing for a while or turning everything off and just sitting in silence completely alien.

Beneath the resistance towards silence and stillness is the fear of facing our deepest regrets, unresolved pain, and unmet desires. Because in that silence, when nothing is grabbing our attention except our thoughts, we are forced to pay attention to everything we try hard to ignore. However what is achieved when we see what we have tried so hard not to see is complete liberation, no longer needing to distract or escape from ourselves.

We may then realise that the very pursuit of happiness is what is causing us to be unhappy and that our efforts to avoid suffering are just fueling the suffering.

I’d like to leave you with these words from Thich Nhat Hanh:

“The art of happiness is the art of living deeply in the present moment. The here and now is the only time and place where life is available and where we can find everything we are looking for, including love, freedom, peace and well-being – Happiness is a habit”

My wish for you is to find your middle way and live the rest of your life in true happiness.

And if you need help with this, reach out and let me know how I can help.