Why Authenticity is Important.

Before we go any further, let me start by sharing a couple of paragraphs from my book, How did I get here?: A guide to letting go of your past and living in alignment with your true self.

The following is from page 60 of my book, under the heading Authenticity:

Before I became aware of the importance of authenticity, I believed that to be happy I had to live my life according to the fairy tales I was taught as a child. And although I finished school with no qualifications and then went on to college for another three years to finally end my education with very little to show for it, I continued to try to fit into those social norms.

I was always looking for the next career break and then once I got it, I’d get bored and would leave. I tried hard to fit in and do the “right” thing, but it never felt right for me. My internal world was always in conflict with the reality I was living in, and I was never sure if I was doing what I wanted to do or what was expected of me, because it was all so confusing.

Despite knowing that all I wanted was freedom, I still ended up getting married. I never felt that staying single and pursuing a different life was an option. So I gave up my true passions to settle down, as this was how I was brought up – to believe this was the best thing for me. Now I’m not saying I shouldn’t have got married, and I certainly don’t regret having children; however, I do wonder whether my decisions were ever conscious choices or pre-programmed reactions.

After all, how does a naturally free-spirited, slightly rebellious, strong-minded young woman still slip into the trap of following this linear ideal of life? How did she fall for this happily-ever-after story? Well maybe it’s because everything, from the time we are born, pushes us in that direction. And because we have this innate need to fit in and be part of the clan, it makes sense to do what most other people do.

But the sad truth is that when we follow a path that is set out for us, rather than the path that calls to us from our innermost depth, we cause a huge conflict. And over time, not only do we let go of our dreams, we also forget who we are at our core and perhaps never really get to know our true purpose.

And as Norman Cousins proclaimed,

“the tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside us while we live”.

Are we missing a vital clue to true happiness?

In my experience and after considerable research for my book, I’ve come to the realisation that we are missing a vital clue to why so many people are struggling with mental health problems and finding it difficult to maintain some form of real happiness.

Here are some of the not so recognised reasons:

Authenticity

Probably the most important is what I’ve described above, simply not being true to ourselves. This is often received as some kind of fluffy statement because it is so loosely used in the feel-good industries. However, if we let go of that interpretation and consider what I shared above or remember what Bronnie Ware identified as the number one regret of the dying

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me?”

– then we may take this a little more seriously.

Connectedness

In an increasingly digital world, where much of our lives are lived in virtual spaces, it’s no wonder that many of us feel a growing sense of disconnection. Our innate yearning for genuine human connection has been over shadowed by superficial relationships. This reflects the throwaway society that we live in today, where people can be easily replaced by better, newer models.

Simplicity

Everywhere we look, there are solutions for this and for that. A new therapy or process promising to cure it all, yet, after a while even that seems inadequate. Perhaps the answer doesn’t lie in the new but in the old. Instead of searching for new ways to cure the ills of modern society, maybe it’s time to revisit the wisdom of our past.

Reconnecting with nature, slowing down, refraining from purchasing items that contribute nothing to our lives, and reconnecting to genuine love in our lives could hold the key.

Spirituality

To tie all this together we must consider the concept of spirituality, as I write in my book:

“In a world that has become more focused on materialism and reliant on scientific evidence, the notion there may be more to life than what we can physically observe is often dismissed as outdated or primitive.”

Chogyam Trungpa in his book “Cutting through spiritual materialism” explains:

“We can deceive ourselves into thinking we are developing spiritually when instead we are strengthening our egocentricity through spiritual techniques.”

True spirituality isn’t about using complex language or spending hours on end on a cushion in an effort to bliss out; it’s about understanding that you are a part of something greater than what meets the eye.

Because with this understanding, you will come to appreciate the miracle that is you.

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If you are keen to explore how to live a life in alignment with your true self, your journey begins with my book, ‘How did I get here?’

And if you are ready to take your personal transformation to the next level, why not book a complimentary one-on-one session with me to see how I can help you break free from your past and step into the life you deserve to live?