Why self-awareness is important

And how Mindfulness can help improve self-awareness

Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions:

Who am I?

What do I want?

Why am I here?

What’s my purpose?

Why do I feel this way?

I’m pretty sure we have all asked one or all of these questions at some point in our lives. It is all part of our desire for a better understanding of who we are and where we fit in this huge universe that we inhabit.

However perhaps more importantly it is that we need to know we matter in the grand scheme of things, otherwise we could end up feeling there’s no point to all this.

As we grow in years we generally gain a better understanding of who we are and what we want. However some may find they are lost in all the noise of life. When this happens we might feel out of sync with who we are, desperately searching for something we think is missing. To fill that void we turn to shiny things, other people, distractions, money and addictions.

And this is why self-awareness is so important.

What is self-awareness?

I don’t want to over complicate this short article but I feel as a Buddhist I must make a distinction between the idea of self-awareness from the conceptual point and the Buddhist approach which focuses on the non-conceptional view of self.

When we talk about self-awareness as Buddhists its not to become more attached to the self we identify with but to realise that in fact this self doesn’t really exist. And before you go of screaming “she’s crazy!!”, this doesn’t mean we don’t exist, it just means we are not one, static thing but an ever changing being that is much more than just our body.

Ok now I’ve got that out of the way, I’ll move onto the more mainstream view of self-awarness.

In their book “A Theory of Objective Self” Shelly Duvall and Robert A. WickLund define self awareness as:

"Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don't align with your internal standards. If you're highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.

Using this definition of self-awareness we can see how important it is to develop the capacity to focus on ourself and this is where Mindfulness comes in.

In fact I’d argue you could define Mindfulness as the practice of enhancing self-awareness.

Mindfulness and Self-Awareness

One of the misconceptions around Mindfulness is that it’s sole purpose is to help us relax, however as any seasoned practitioner will know it goes much further than that.

Yes of course when we learn to meditate and to train our mind to be still, we will feel calmer. And if we can bring this calmness to our attention whenever we are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed, then we have greatly benefited from the practice.

However over time we may notice that in that space of calmness there’s ssomething else. We eventually come to the realisation that the internal world is far more complex than ever imagined. It is so complex that it makes our understanding of the external world seem relatively easy.

But why?

Well in my very humble opinion because I’m no expert, I suggest it’s because just as we think we know ourselves, something new comes along to make us question everything again. I guess that’s what Socrates meant when he said

“All I know is I know nothing”

If you have a high level of self-awareness you will come to realise that you are none of and yet all of the things you think you are.

And this is what I understand the Buddha meant when he said

“The self is an illusion”

But I promised I wouldn’t overcomplicate, so I’ll leave that there for you to think about.

How to know if you have a high level of self-awareness

• People with a high level of self-awareness are more able to make sense of their actions, feelings and thoughts without self-judgement. In otherwords with self-awareness comes self-acceptance, which in turn gives rise to a healthier relationship with ourselves.

• And self-awareness means we are more likely to take responsibility for ourselves and the impact we have on others.

• Self-aware people are usually introspective and as such naturally inclinded to search for answers by exploring their thoughts and feelings.

• Some theorists believe there is a link between self-awareness and being a Hyper-Sensitive-Person (HSP). This is because a HSP is more likely to turn inwards because at times the outside world becomes overwhelming.

So before I leave you to reflect on this topic, I’d like to leave you with a useful practice to help you tune into your own awareness.

A Mindfulness practice for Self-Awareness

• Find a space that is quiet and sit, stand or lay down (but do not sleep)!

• Close your eyes because closed eyes force you to focus inwards

• Then just wait for the thoughts to start (they are always there, you just weren’t paying attention)

• Don’t push those thoughts away but also don’t pay them too much attention. Allow them the freedom to come and go

• Do this for as long as you can and as often as you are able. 5 minutes is fine, longer is better but do what works for you.

• Notice what happens over time and leave a comment below if you want to share.